Reporter #1: So what's the difference from the standard Walkers "bend but don't break"?
Johansson: Good to have you back, #1. If you want to talk "bend", go talk to Coach Jackson. As for the differences to Woody's D, I'll leave it to Burp to explain.
Burp: Attack and reality, that's what it's all about. Attack - expect a
lot of blitzing. Reality, here's the deal; Coach J prefers to call it
an honor code:
- The Walkers will never start their LBs deeper than 5 yards.
- We won't play micro-zones; not even combined with read commands.
- All players lined up deeper than 5 yards assigned a man command will be
shaded to either side.
- And we'll play a straight 3 man front, with Cook as the starting NT. We
tried to put Ahanotu in there too on some plays, but he got all confused.
Reporter #2: You whimps! The other coaches are going to whip your sorry ass, and then you'll all complain they don't abide by your so called honor code!
Johansson: So be it. You haven't heard the worst yet. Andy?
Turnstone: I don't know about the attack part... but we'll aim at
reality on offense too. Here's more of that goddamn honor code:
- We'll only run 4 offensive formations.
- We'll have no wide receivers lined up tight or in the backfield.
- No lateral will be longer than 4 yards.
- The recipient of a handoff or lateral will be lined up inside the
tackles, except on reverse plays.
- We'll run no trips formations, because the defense can't adjust to
them properly.
- And finally no player will have a downfield pause command.
Questions?
Reporter #3: Whose dumbfuck idea is this?
Johansson: I take full responsibility. This might not be a smart move, but we feel we have nothing left to prove. Hopefully people will enjoy watching the Walkers play. We're trying to take this game to the next level.
Reporter #1: Idiots!
Burp: OK if I handle this, Coach?
Burp drags reporter #1 outside. Muffled screams are heard...
This has been Olaf Viking reporting from Gothenburg, and now ducking for cover.